A conversation around Pennsylvania

Burgh: Would you lend me your Pennsylvania?

Vania: You're the Pittsburgh, you never remember anything!

Burgh: Quite Franklin, I don't agree. Only last week you ate half of my Philadelphia because you'd forgotten your lunch.

Vania: OK, OK! Corry about that, I'm a bit edgy coz Arnold's getting on my nerves, again. Grab your Coatesville, let's eat out!

Burgh: Chester minute, I'll finish this and I'll be right with you.

Vania: Harrisburg! We'll miss the bus!

Burgh: I think we should walk, I'm worried about my Carbondale footprint.

Vania: OK, we'll go to King of Prussia, it's cheap and it's close.

(later)

Waiter:  Can I take your order, please?

Vania: I'll have the Aliquippa, please.

Burgh: And I'll have the green salad Altoona, please

Waiter: I'm sorry, sir, we have no tuna today.

Burgh: What a Shamokin!  Well, make it the chicken DuBois, then.

Waiter: Anything to drink?

Vania: We'll have a bottle of Hermitage 2006, please.

Burgh: Sorry, Vania, I'm off the alcohol, I'm taking medication. Make mine a Nanticoke, please.

Vania: I'll have a Scranton lite, then, please, ice and lemon.

(Waiter leaves)

Vania: What's up with you?

Burgh: Oh, nothing much, got an infection in my Lower Burrell, antibiotics for two weeks.

Vania: That doesn't Sunbury pleasant to me.

Burgh (abruptly changing the subject): Don't look now but Jeanette Beaver's just walked in with Mr. Wilkes Barre, do you think they're up to a bit of Williamsport?

Vania: I wouldn't be suprised, Beaver Falls for anything that smells of megadollars.

Burgh: But he's Erie and besides look at his hair: Oil City!  Apparently, he tried to Lock Haven in the paper cupboard last week and I heard from Lancaster that he's into McKeesport.

Vania: These rich people always are, I bet he'll take her to his New Castle and try to Monongahela from behind.

Burgh: What, you mean Parker in the Warren?  Do you think he still can at his age? 

Vania: Well, Beaver's no St Marys herself and I woudn't define her behind as Titusville, either, so it won't be too hard.  Eat your Greensburg, they'll do you good!

Burgh: If I were her, I'd give myself a thorough Washington after a night of Uniontown with him.

Vania: I don't know if it'd be so bad, I'd go to Lebanon with him if he promised to buy me a New Kensington.

Burgh: York kidding!