Yahoo!

One, two, pay-per-view.

One, two, pay-per-view, 
three, four, go to app store, 
five, six, watch on Netflix, 
seven, eight, search for soul mate, 
nine, ten, chat on MSN, 
eleven, twelve, ebooks not shelves, 
thirteen, fourteen, automated sorting, 
fifteen, sixteen, DJs remixin',
seventeen, eighteen, nobody's waitin',
nineteen, twenty, inbox empty!


original version:
one, two, buckle my shoe, 
three, four, knock at the door, 
five, six, pick up sticks, 
seven, eight, lay them straight, 
nine, ten, big, fat hen, 
eleven, twelve, dig and delve, 
thirteen, fourteen, maids a-courting,
fifteen, sixteen, maids in the kitchen,
seventeen, eighteen, maids in waiting, 
nineteen, twenty, my plate's empty.

Antagonistic Atlantic

A man from the U.S. says, 'He/she blew me off,' with a long face and sad eyes. The European looks sceptically at the speaker for a few minutes and finally asks, 'And that was a bad thing, was it?'


Clarifiaction for the confused:
U.S: Being blown off means being stood up: someone not arriving at a date.
EUR: Being blown off not only implies that the person turned up for the date but that it was an enormous success because it lead to receiving oral sex.

Dizzy encounters (Olympics)

Sa, ay turns rand ana says, 'Shup, yew!'
An ee turns rand an says, 'Yew gunu make me?'
An ay turns rand an says, 'Too bloody rai um gonna make ya!'
An ee  turns rand an says, 'Nah, y'ain!'
An ay turns rand an says, 'Bleedin ewl! Um dizzy from aw tha turnin rand, naa!'

Should I Radiohead to let them know you're arriving, sir?

Diverse emoticons