A catchy Versace on haute sociétace

-Armani crossing the Chanel this morning? 
-No, boss. Just a few, boss. Got a list... 'ere you go, boss.
-Then we must go down to La coste immediately to greet them...
(bell rings)
-Someone at the Dior, boss.
-Yes, it's probably Dolce & Gabbana and their insufferable little chiens, Gucci, Rucci and Pucci.  They're down from Tomford for le weekend and they do so loewe to drop in uninvited.  Tell them I'm too Lagerfeld after last night's do.
-Boss, it's business; that guy, Laroche... wants a word, boss.
-It'll be about the crossing.  I'll receive him in my office.  Meanwhile go put down a saucer of milk for Miu Miu, I feel Gaultier than ever when she gives me that look.

A conversation around Pennsylvania

Burgh: Would you lend me your Pennsylvania?

Vania: You're the Pittsburgh, you never remember anything!

Burgh: Quite Franklin, I don't agree. Only last week you ate half of my Philadelphia because you'd forgotten your lunch.

Vania: OK, OK! Corry about that, I'm a bit edgy coz Arnold's getting on my nerves, again. Grab your Coatesville, let's eat out!

Burgh: Chester minute, I'll finish this and I'll be right with you.

Vania: Harrisburg! We'll miss the bus!

Burgh: I think we should walk, I'm worried about my Carbondale footprint.

Vania: OK, we'll go to King of Prussia, it's cheap and it's close.

(later)

Waiter:  Can I take your order, please?

Vania: I'll have the Aliquippa, please.

Burgh: And I'll have the green salad Altoona, please

Waiter: I'm sorry, sir, we have no tuna today.

Burgh: What a Shamokin!  Well, make it the chicken DuBois, then.

Waiter: Anything to drink?

Vania: We'll have a bottle of Hermitage 2006, please.

Burgh: Sorry, Vania, I'm off the alcohol, I'm taking medication. Make mine a Nanticoke, please.

Vania: I'll have a Scranton lite, then, please, ice and lemon.

(Waiter leaves)

Vania: What's up with you?

Burgh: Oh, nothing much, got an infection in my Lower Burrell, antibiotics for two weeks.

Vania: That doesn't Sunbury pleasant to me.

Burgh (abruptly changing the subject): Don't look now but Jeanette Beaver's just walked in with Mr. Wilkes Barre, do you think they're up to a bit of Williamsport?

Vania: I wouldn't be suprised, Beaver Falls for anything that smells of megadollars.

Burgh: But he's Erie and besides look at his hair: Oil City!  Apparently, he tried to Lock Haven in the paper cupboard last week and I heard from Lancaster that he's into McKeesport.

Vania: These rich people always are, I bet he'll take her to his New Castle and try to Monongahela from behind.

Burgh: What, you mean Parker in the Warren?  Do you think he still can at his age? 

Vania: Well, Beaver's no St Marys herself and I woudn't define her behind as Titusville, either, so it won't be too hard.  Eat your Greensburg, they'll do you good!

Burgh: If I were her, I'd give myself a thorough Washington after a night of Uniontown with him.

Vania: I don't know if it'd be so bad, I'd go to Lebanon with him if he promised to buy me a New Kensington.

Burgh: York kidding!